By Fredrica Syren:
It was a day that was supposed to be a happy one. My husband and I were going to see our baby on an ultrasound: instead, it turned into devastation when we found out that our twins had no heart beats. I remember thinking “Why me?” and felt numb. Today I have two boys, but I still mourn my lost babies. Sadly, for 8 years I have mourned and suffered in silence. Just because I have my boys does not mean that I don’t often think about their siblings and miss them. I know the pain of their lost is something that will never go away…
It’s a sad truth that 1 in 4 or 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. It’s an experience filled with heartache, and the difficulty of this loss is so hard to explain. The problem is that we really don’t talk about it, and there is very little support for parents who have experienced the devastating loss of a child. For me, it took away my innocence for all my subsequent pregnancies. Any strange feeling would send me into fear of losing my baby, making the pregnancies both stressful and scary.
In 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in honor of those who suffered a loss, including miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
For myself and for anyone who has lost a baby, I understand that it means a lot to know our loss matters. I wish for more support for the parents like me and that being more open about it would be ok. It’s a normal mourning that unfortunately does not go away. Even though we may have another child, someone will always be missed.
To find support go here: