Moving forward after my divorce
It’s been a year since we separated and as of yesterday, I’m now divorced. I just got back from a business trip to San Diego, and so many people asked how I’m doing and how I’m moving forward.
Talking about my divorce was a hard decision, but many people were asking since they noticed it was just me and the kids in videos and on social media. I decided to share what was happening, and it was scary to do it so publicly. Now, I’m glad I did because I received so much support. Divorce is very personal, and the reasons and feelings around it are different for everyone. For many, it can feel like a lonely journey. I’m part of a divorce and separation group, and people often talk about how lonely they feel. I felt alone too, and at times, I even felt ashamed, as if I had failed. Of course, I know now that I didn’t fail—it’s just something that happens. By sharing my story, I received support and heard from many wonderful people who had gone through the same thing. They told their stories and shared their wisdom, and, most importantly, reminded me that things would get better. At the time, that was exactly what I needed to hear.
They were right. I want to share this for anyone going through a divorce or considering it: yes, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced, but in the end, it was the right decision. Today, I feel proud of myself for making it through.
So, how am I doing, and how are the kids?
I feel strong, and I love how the kids and I supported each other and healed together. When we told them about the divorce, I was afraid they would be devastated, but I was surprised by how prepared they were and that they felt it was the right choice. The kids live with me full time because they wanted to, but they can see their dad whenever they want. It’s very important to me to support their relationship with their dad and help them find a new normal with him, as well as adjust to life as a family with a single mom and three teenagers.
There are many ways to heal from a divorce, but for me, seeing a good therapist and working out made a big difference. As I went through separating, dividing our home and belongings, and setting up new routines, strength training with a trainer and getting into running helped me stay focused and build resilience. It kept me pushing forward, both physically and mentally. It’s easy to feel down and want to withdraw, but exercising gave me a reason to get up every day. It also became a fun approach to connect with my kids, since they started joining me for workouts.
Finances were also a challenge, and I had to restructure everything and set new goals. At first, I was paralyzed by fear, but I drew on my financial knowledge and began reading and learning about managing money as a single parent. I began budgeting, tracking all our expenses and income each month, and saving more so the kids and I could work toward our dream of buying a house. The kids got involved too, and together we found ways to save more and spend less, even trying a no-buy, low-buy year. I want to share more about this to encourage and help other women. My Ebook Eco Savings, was definitely my way of preparing myself for life as a single parent and for living sustainably and saving money in the process, and I have to say I’m happy with what came out of my own divorce journey.
I also started working for a content editor and sustainability communicator for Boom Photo Booth which has been a fun challenge. Photo Booth rental industry in general is a very dirty one so for me it has been fun to help Boom Photo Booth to become a sustainable one and I was in San Diego for the annual Earth Fair collaborating with Zero Waste Family and Boom Photo Booth as well my other company Media on the rise publishing company.
All of these steps have helped me feel more in control, balanced, and most importantly, happy.
On both my social media and YouTube, I share about my life hacks as a single mom of three kids and what our new life is like.
